COVID-19 cancelled our wedding – how to celebrate your non-wedding day – 10 steps (+ free printable)
Hi there I’m Amy (AKA myorganisedveganlife) and I, like countless other people, was meant to be married right now, but then - COVID-19 struck.
If you too have found yourself in the heart-breaking situation of your wedding being cancelled due to COVID-19 and are looking for an unforgettable way to celebrate what could have been - look no further!
Below is a list of 10 things we did on our “non-wedding” day that you can do too! We did these 10 things and now we have some of our most cherished memories together.
Needless to say, the pandemic has had devastating widespread effects so our wedding being postponed was a small price to pay to help keep our loved ones safe and healthy but, it has been difficult nonetheless. Aside from scrambling to re-arrange the biggest event of our lives, we deliberated over how on earth to spend our original wedding day during a lockdown!?
So, we put our heads together and pulled off a spectacular, intimate and memorable day!
"We did these 10 things and now we have some of our most cherished memories together."
During our 2 year engagement, we bought and renovated our first home, I had a career change and we planned our DIY wedding. The stress of organising a wedding, whilst changing jobs and making our house a home, passed and we got excited when the final touches of our wedding were coming together and married life was in our sights!
Little were we to know that the excited phase would be shortlived as coronavirus swept the world, the UK was put into lockdown and the wedding we had spent nearly 2 years planning was suddenly cancelled, despite being mere months away. We had envisioned our wedding date (30th May 2020) as being the start of the rest of our lives. Instead it suddenly became a date which filled us with sadness and a sense of loss. All of which was heightened by the stress that comes along with being in lockdown, which many are experiencing.
As our original wedding date got closer we couldn't pinpoint what we wanted to do to commemorate the day. Should we do nothing? Should we arrange a big online party? Maybe we should just drown our sorrows?
If you are reading this you are likely in a similar position and looking for how to celebrate your “non-wedding” day. If you have found your best laid wedding plans have been scuppered, know I am sending you big hugs and all of the good juju. As well as all of the good vibes, as someone who has been through it, I want to share our 10 step plan to celebrate your non-wedding day.
We did these 10 things on our non-wedding day and had one of the most special moments of our lives.
1. Fancy breakfast in bed
Take advantage of the fact that you aren’t rushing about to get ready on a deadline as you no longer have a ceremony to attend or guests to entertain - Wake up slow and start your day with an indulgent breakfast!
I would recommend my favourite quick and easy vegan waffles (pictured left) but you could go for anything that takes your fancy! Sign up to my mailing list to be notified when I post my waffle recipe and topping suggestions soon!
Other breakfast suggestions:
· Soya yoghurt, fruit compote and granola
· Full vegan cooked breakfast
· Spiced berry almond milk porridge
As an extra treat we watched RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 12 Finale while we ate our waffles, something we would have never had time for if we were getting married – shantay we stay in bed!
2. Pamper yourself
Ordinarily I’m not into a long getting ready process but to emulate some of the self-care I was missing, I made sure to do the following things on my non-wedding morning and think you’d love to too, to dust off your isolation cobwebs:
Treat yourself to a relaxing bath/shower with all of your favourite lotions and potions – Usually don’t bother moisturising? Do it today, your skin will thank you later!
Do that long overdue hair removal you’ve been putting off! Anyone else’s legs looking like a used lint roller right now, mine sure have during lockdown! If hair removal is not for you then kudos to you, just skip this step (and any others that don’t feel like you), pampering is all about what makes you feel your best self!
Got a wedding day perfume lined up? Use it! Many brides get a signature scent to use on their wedding day which we aren’t getting to use for the foreseeable. I cracked my perfume open and now, when my wedding day comes around, I know it’ll send me back to incredible memories of our special “non-wedding” day celebrations
Take an extra bit of time to style your hair and makeup – Like many brides I had Pinterest deep-dived for wedding day hair and makeup inspo, had a handful of makeup and hair trials, finally found my wonderful local suppliers (becxbeautymua & Jo Anderson Designer Hair) and had everything booked for the wedding morning. Obviously it wouldn’t have been possible or responsible to get dolled up by the professionals so, I dug out my tried and tested products, did my best attempt at “photo-ready” makeup, properly detangled the mane and took my sweet time scrunching my curls into a less Hagrid-esque style (Any other #curlygirls out here? Sign up to my mailing list to be notified when I post my curly hair routine soon!)
3. Picnic complete with mini wedding décor setup + ceremony music
If you are looking for a relaxed way to commemorate your big day then a picnic is the perfect way to go with minimal time spent on preparation, meaning more quality time together. We rustled up a speedy vegan picnic in under 30 minutes with sandwiches, katsu curry bites, paella bites, sausage rolls, fruit skewers, cheesecakes and a little wine spritzer for toasting (we had to drive back!).
Depending on the weather and lockdown restrictions you can have a picnic in an assortment of places: your garden, your living room, your local park or even better (if it’s safe) you could do what we did and have your picnic at your actual wedding venue!
We are fortunate as our wedding venue The Sill has outdoor space accessible to the public meaning we could sit in the beautiful Northumberland countryside right in front of the room we were due to be getting married in which made our day out even more significant.
Once you have chosen a special setting for your picnic and gathered your food and drink it is time for the final touches to properly set the scene - décor and music.
With many couples opting to create their own playlists for the big day you’ll likely have one you made in the run up to your original wedding date, so put it on and get into the ceremony spirit!
If, like us, you are decorating your wedding yourself, you will have an abundance of wedding décor filling up your house - Well now is the time for you to put those lanterns, centrepieces and place settings to good use! It is these small details which brought the whole thing together and helped set the ambiance for the next step!
See if you can spot our fun little dinosaur details and homemade place cards – tutorials to come!
"Once you’ve had your picnic, now comes the part which will stick with you for years to come."
4. Exchange kind words and wedding rings
Once you’ve had your picnic, now comes the part which will stick with you for years to come!
Either, take along your wedding vows and read them to one another, alternatively just exchange some other kind words and commitments to one another and save your vows. Despite all of the disappointment you might be feeling about your big day being cancelled, this is the perfect way to help you focus on each other, your relationship and just how much there is to be thankful for during these crazy times!
Whilst we didn’t want to share our actual wedding vows we had both surprised one another with cards on our “non-wedding” day. We decided that we would take them to our picnic and read them to one another. Even though neither of us wrote the cards with the intention of reading them aloud, the words felt even more sincere when said out loud and it led seamlessly into us going through the ritual of putting our weddings rings on one another.
With how close we were to getting married we already had our wedding rings and ring boxes (including homemade ring cushions) prepared for the big day, and you might do too. Not everyone will necessarily want to do this part and would prefer to save it for their real wedding but, wearing our rings just for the duration of our picnic helped us feel a fragment of what our wedding would have been and might help you too!
5. Relax, have fun & all of the feels (even the icky ones!)
"we couldn’t help be sad and a touch bitter thinking about how we could have been even more content getting married surrounded by our nearest and dearest"
You did the sentimental part, you ate your delicious picnic but you’re not quite ready for the day to be over yet. It was supposed to be the best day of your life but that was taken from you so allow yourself some time to just relax, enjoy your day and process how you’re feeling.
If you are feeling happy then don’t feel guilty for enjoying the moment! Similarly, if you feel sad don’t feel guilty for that either – the pandemic puts things into perspective and can make you feel bad for dwelling on something as “trivial” as a wedding but remember, you are still entitled to be disappointed as your wedding was understandably important to you.
For an idea of what to expect to feel: On the day we were happy and thankful to have our extra special & intimate day but we couldn’t help be sad and a touch bitter thinking about how we could have been even more content getting married surrounded by our nearest and dearest at that precise moment, if only we lived in a world where the pandemic hadn’t struck.
As well as acknowledging your feelings take some time to relax and have fun!!!
For us, fun meant chilling on our picnic blanket in the sun, playing a game of Uno and filling out some of the entertaining activity sheets we had made for guests for our wedding day (printables will be released soon – sign up to my mailing list to keep posted)!
We filled out our activity sheets and advice to “the newlyweds” (i.e. ourselves!) with our pencils that were personalised with our wedding date (thanks, Studio) - and were obviously purchased in bulk before the pandemic called our wedding off!
Did you have any personalised touches which are now obsolete and what did you to to shake it off? I snapped one of our 120 pencils into pieces & it was very cathartic!
6. Take pictures
With most couples opting to hire a professional photographer – we chose the amazingly talented From The Smiths Photography – your original wedding date was probably going to result in you having a whole album of beautifully curated pictures to remember the day by. With your wedding now being cancelled all of those photo ops and captured memories you had been dreaming of may feel as if they have gone to waste but, that doesn’t have to be the case!
Make the most of your romantic picnic set up, wedding décor and freshly washed hair and snaps lots of your own pictures to remember your “non-wedding” day by! It has only been a week since our “non-wedding” day and already I look at the images with a fondness and clarity of recollection that only photos can trigger - showing you don’t have to be a pro to take photos that will last a lifetime.
Another DIY we had made for the wedding was a Photo I Spy sheet for guests, so we picked one up from our spare bedroom wedding décor stash and took it along on our picnic. It ensured we got a range of shots and I would encourage you do the same so you don’t come away with regrets that you didn’t get enough pictures – sign up to my mailing list to get your free printable I Spy wedding checklist to either use at your wedding or take with you on your “non-wedding” day!
With our venue having a Rooftop Garden one of the items on the I Spy checklist was to snap a Rooftop Pic. As the roof was closed to the public we had to get creative -->
So whilst it isn’t the day you spent all that time and effort planning for, make sure you have plenty of photo keepsakes from the date – you’ll thank yourself for it in the future!
To have more tangible mementos we also made sure to take a bunch of pictures with Nicola’s Instax Mini (affiliate link https://amzn.to/2MpsB0q) which we always crack out at special occasions!
7. First dance
The food has been eaten, memories have been made, feelings have been well and truly felt and pictures have been taken. It probably feels about time to wrap up your mini event but would it really be your non-wedding day if you didn’t have a first dance?!
So, turn on your first dance song, crank the volume up, set aside all distractions and get practicing your moves so you’re ready for when the real wedding comes around!
Truth be told we possibly enjoyed this audience-free first dance more than we will likely enjoy dancing with everyone around so I’m hoping that the power of music will transport us back the our “non-wedding” day first dance and make us feel like we are back on our patch of grass, unobserved and free of inhibitions!
If you followed Step 6 and take along our I Spy photo checklist you will also get a picture of your first dance. We did and it is undoubtedly my favourite picture from the whole day. If you follow these steps and take a photo of your “non-wedding” day first dance make sure to tag me on Insta @myorganisedveganlife as I’d love to see others having this special moment, something which wouldn’t have happened if the world around us weren’t currently on hold.
8. Get "divorced" and remove your rings
Your mini “non-wedding” celebration has come to an end, you’re ready to go home but there is one more crucial step to follow!
It may have been nice to play pretend for a short while and imagine what could have been but to really get that closure from your original wedding date that you’re seeking, now is the step in which you take off your wedding bands and pop them back in their boxes ready for your real big day sometime in the future – hopefully then they will carry some of your good vibes from this day as well as feeling novel again when your wedding day does come!
To make the somewhat gloomy moment a little more light hearted we jokingly referred to this stage as us getting “divorced” and warbled a chorus or two of Beyoncé’s 'Single Ladies'!
9. Car party
You might be feeling a little drained from your non-nuptials, food, photos, dancing and “divorce”! If you were able to venture out to your wedding venue you might have a drive ahead of you – or maybe you took a trip to your garden – but now is the time to have a change of pace.
Switch out your serious ceremony and sentimental first dance songs for some upbeat tunes. If you have a go to party playlist now is the time to blast it out, belt some obnoxiously loud notes and (if you’re not driving – sadly I was!) throw some obscene shapes on your imaginary dance floor!
Sometimes a sing and dance is just what you need to raise your spirits!
Our car party with super loud pop-punk classics was just what we needed on the drive back from our wedding venue picnic
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10. Takeaway treat dinner & movie night
OR Celebrate virtually with loved ones (+ why we chose not to)
At this stage you might prefer to party into the night and host a video call to celebrate virtually with your loved ones as you would have on your real wedding night. For plenty of people this will be the right fit after a day of 1 on 1 with their betrothed but, for us it felt like the right choice to dedicate all of our attention to one another.
Here are a few reasons you might want to skip a virtual gathering on your non-wedding day:
On your non-wedding day you will likely feel a range of emotions, we certainly did and we didn’t want the added pressure of having to navigate and filter those in a big group call!
If you're currently social distancing and working from home you are likely spending a lot of time on video calls right now which can be draining - We are both working from home full time and having a day away from video calls was incredibly refreshing and something I’m sure plenty of people could benefit from right now!
When your real wedding day comes around (eventually) you will have a day with a jam packed schedule surrounded by all of your loved ones, maybe take this day at a slower pace! If you aren’t trying to co-ordinate your soiree to mesh with other peoples' plans you will be able to go with the flow and be more mindful and present with your partner throughout your non-wedding day.
If more alone time is a better fit then getting in a tasty, takeaway for dinner and settling down with a movie is the perfect way to wind down and ease gently back into the reality that you still need to wait a while longer for your wedding to happen.
We ordered Pizza Hut’s Vegan Pepperphoni Pizza and rented Zombieland: Double Tap from Amazon (affiliate link https://amzn.to/2MvqZlE) – because you can’t beat comforting carbs and a post-apocalyptic zombie comedy film!
Bonus cosy points if you manage to get use out of your wedding décor, by creating movie lighting with your abundance of candles, lanterns and fairy lights you no doubt have stashed to decorate your venue!
We followed all 10 steps and still managed to have one of the most special days of our lives to date
To all of you who have found your wedding cancelled due to COVID-19 I really hope that these 10 steps help you celebrate your non-wedding day in a way that is still meaningful and memorable! Just know that even though it is heartbreaking to postpone it is in the best interests of all of your loved ones and there are still special ways to commemorate your original wedding date.
Remember, to ensure you can smash all 10 steps and have great non-wedding day too, sign up to my mailing list to get your free printable I Spy wedding checklist to either use at your wedding or take with you on your “non-wedding” day!
Our original wedding date has been and gone now. We followed all 10 steps and still managed to have one of the most special days of our lives to date. Now we feel incredibly lucky to have had both this intimate celebration, which could never have happened if the world hadn’t ground to a halt, and we will also get the big DIY wedding we had planned, just at a later date!
Sign up and follow me over on Insta @myorganisedveganlife to keep notified when I post new vegan, house and wedding content! Coming soon:
Quick and Easy Vegan Waffle Recipe
Wedding Guest Activity Sheet
Curly Hair Routine
Where it all began – our ex-council house
...and much more
Big love & stay safe,
myorganisedveganlife
PLANT-BASED COMFORT FOOD // PLANNING+PROJECTS // DIY: HOUSE+WEDDING
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